Don’t Do It Scotland!

saltire and union flags

I wasn’t too happy that the Scots got their own parliament and the Welsh and Northern Irish got their own assemblies. Why? Because we didn’t get a similar institution to represent the interests of the North of England.

Us Northerners, primarily Yorkshire and Lancashire upwards – though the Midlands could perhaps have a referendum to decide which way they roll, were left stranded in our opposition to the self-serving policies of a large rump of right leaning Southern Softies when the opposition was scattered to the four corners of the Union.

This is why I am fundamentally opposed to Scotland voting ‘Yes’ for independence. Let’s get the cards on the table straight away, this is a mercenary viewpoint. The fact is that if Scotland leaves the Union, we in the North will be cast into the eternal darkness of a perpetual Tory government! Take away the large left leaning Scottish vote in the Westminster parliament and we Northern cave dwellers will be simply carried along on a wave of right leaning, knee jerk, Mailist and Telegraphic sympathies.

Now, although this could be construed as the selfish viewpoint of a Northern Monkey, I would also argue that it could be potentially damaging for Scotland. With the prospect of rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth, blue rinse warriors dictating the policies of the North for time immemorial, we are likely to look quite favourably at Scotland as a destination of domicility. Faced with the lure of free prescriptions, free university education and a most favourable national drink (plus we still get the BBC!), I would forecast a frenzied rush for the border. I even have a namesake Scottish football team!

Quite how the sudden influx of every Tom, Dick and Cyril from Sheffield to Berwick suddenly appearing on the doorstep would pan out is a catastrophic vision too packed-in-like-sardines to contemplate. At a stroke, this would instantly drain any financial benefit associated with getting your hands on what’s left of North Sea oil and gas. You plainly haven’t thought this through Scotland!

Vote ‘No’ to independence and allow us Northerners to remain where we belong, in God’s own country of the North of England. Although, a Northern Republic with Taylor’s Landlord free running like water and Yorkshire puds and Lancashire hot pot by the vat-load could be a viable alternative…how does that referendum thing work again?

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